How to Get Lint Off a Shirt

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There I was half an hour before my interview standing in my apartment complex laundry room with my only dress shirt covered in lint. Towels in a dryer shed like Siamese cats and unfortunately I had mixed a couple in the load with my shirt. There was not enough time to rewash my shirt and make my interview so now how do you remove lint from a shirt?

Back in 1956, a man named Nick McKay came up with a great idea resembling a cardboard tube wrapped in tape and thus the lint roller was invented. Now I know I have a lint roller in my house and upon checking my bedroom, kitchen and bathroom the closest item I could find was a rolling pin. I also found another towel that needed washing but instead of throwing it in the laundry bin, I deposited the towel under my bed, which is where I found the roller pin. Don't ask why it was under the bed, but it gave me an idea. Now what I needed was to find a roll of tape, but as you can probably tell, my apartment wasn't the most organized place in the world.

Some people have drawers in their office desk dedicated to pencils, pens, paper and even tape. In the first drawer of my computer desk, there was every piece of mail I had received since January of the previous year. My second drawer included items from every room in my apartment: scissors, butterknife, picture frame, roller mouse, old CD cases and even a pair of sandals. Why is there a pair of sandals in my computer desk you ask? It's the only place I can put them where they don't end up on my roommate's feet. The final drawer didn't contain any tape either but rather contained my favorite socks (same reason as the sandals) and a small mountain of notecards I use for school along with a box of band aids.

With twenty minutes left before my interview, I took every band aid in the box and connected them together around as much of the roller pin as I could with the adhesive on the outside. So I'm sitting in the middle of the living room, my shirt spread on the floor, rolling the pin over as much of the shirt as I could cover with the band aids. After a few minutes I checked my progress only to find patches of lint where the middle of the band aids had no adhesive. In walks my roommate and she suggests using a hairbrush. I had a better idea, why not use the vacuum?? The brushes move faster, can suck up the lint and will allow me to make my interview.

After convincing my roommate to hold the shirt on the floor I started the vacuum and exactly one second before I rolled over my shirt, my brain sent two messages. The first message was sent to my hand and arm to push the vacuum across my one and only dress shirt and another to the part of the brain responsible for common sense. Sadly, the first message was received before the second message. Needless to say, I didn't make it to my interview and now I'm looking for things in the house that will help me remove my shirt from the vacuum, because now I can't find a screwdriver.

James Junior is a freelance writer and web programmer.

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The World of Funny and Strange Awards

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Everyone loves to win an award but sometimes you want to be careful of what you wish for because you may just get it. Winning an award is always fun and it is nice to be recognized. Maybe you won employee of the month at work or perhaps your civic work caused your community to recognize you with an outstanding citizen award. But not every award is one you want to put on your mantle and show off to your family and friends. There is a company in Upstate New York that has a bowling tournament every year. First place is a lovely golden bowling pin for the winner to proudly display. Last prize, and there is a last prize, is an old bowling shoe referred to as the Smelly Shoe Award. An old smelly bowling shoe is not what you want sitting on the mantle at home. Of course it is all in fun but some awards and recognitions can be a little critical and sometimes downright mean.

Mr. Blackwell was a well-known fashion critic who released two lists every year that were highly anticipated. The first was the best-dressed celebrity list and to make it on that list meant a whole new level of recognition from the media and possible opportunities in show business. The other list was the top ten worst dressed celebrities and that was a list that usually meant you would find a rather unattractive picture of yourself in a national tabloid magazine. So Mr. Blackwell's worst dressed celebrity is definitely not an award you want to win. But that pales in comparison to what the movie industry has to offer.

Few industries have as many awards as the movie industry. Between the Academy Awards, the Golden Globes, and the People's Choice Awards there are hundreds of award winners every year in Hollywood and that does not count things like the Kids Choice Movie Awards or the MTV Movie Awards either. But as good as Hollywood can be at patting itself on the back there are always Hollywood outsiders who are willing to let Hollywood know that not every movie is an award winner. The desire to keep Hollywood in its place has spawned some funny trophies and award shows and the top funny Hollywood award show of them all is the Razzies.

The Razzies is short for the Golden Raspberry Award and it is given every year for the worst actors and worst movies Hollywood put out for the previous year. The trophy is a large golden raspberry and, needless to say, very few Hollywood celebrities show up to the ceremony each year to collect their award. In recent years Hollywood has been continually accused of having no worthwhile movies coming out and that has caused an increase in the media exposure of the Razzies and its accompanying ceremony every year. Many Oscar winning movies are awarded Razzies and it looks like the Razzies will be around for a very long time.

For more information on funny trophies, visit http://www.gagtrophies.com

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