They Don't Look Expensive

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I know what you want. You want to hear a war story. Here ya go, this is a fun one.

I was hired to perform strolling close-up magic for an hour at a private party. These are probably my favorite shows to do. I'm in and out quick and the people get to see a ton of magic up close and personal in a very short span of time.

Anyway, I was leaving the party when these two women see me. One of them shrieks, "You're the magician. Oh my God, I have heard so many things about you, do a trick."

Technically, I was done at this time. I asked where they'd been and they said they just arrived. Normally, I have no problem doing a little extra time for my clients. It's all part of my promise to over deliver when they hire me.

However, you get a sense about people after years of doing this. Actually, you didn't have to be overly intuitive to pick up on the weird factor. It also didn't help that she ordered me to do a trick. Magicians love being talked to like dogs.

Of course, I always err on the side of nice. Besides, they were both pretty hot. So, I do the magician equivalent of rolling over, fetching, and playing dead. After the first trick, they scream, they hug me, they dance around, they scream some more, and they ask me to do another.

Now, this is more like it. Sure, they came off a little rough, but they're really into the magic! I begin another miracle when I notice that the woman who was so into everything is now driving the heel of her very high heel shoes into the top of my foot. She's attempting to balance on this spike but she's kind of just going in half circles continuing to put all of her weight on top of my foot.

Remember, there's just two of them and she randomly decides to do this. Her friend acts like it's completely normal. I said, "Excuse me, please stop standing on my foot. Your heel is going to destroy my shoes, not to mention, you're hurting me."

Her response?

"I'm light and your shoes don't look expensive."

Well, she WAS skinny, and I DID get a great deal on my shoes on Santee Alley. Still, just because she was technically correct, I still found it to be one of the oddest things somebody has done.

She knew I was leaving and that she missed me because she was late. She knew I was staying longer just to entertain her and her friend. She was the most enthusiastic audience member I'd come across that night, but despite all of this, she was nuts.

Zach Waldman is a professional stand-up comedian and magician. He can be reached at 310-922-6244 or visit his web site for tons of information on making your next event memorable and unique! http://www.zachwaldman.com

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